She picks up her phone, taps “i’m not coming home”
Had enough of the wind and the rain.
Need A long holiday down Benidorm way.
Got a one way ticket to Spain.

Nanas out of control”, in an old mobile home.
With a man she met at the bingo.
He’s tanned crisp and lean, got a scooter machine.
And a grasp of the local lingo.

Dos Cerveza por favor one for me and one for her
Its cheap and the scenery is stunning.

Going to stay here maybe. Bingos twice daily.
Dinners 5 euro and comes with a pudding.

Away from the strikes, the cold winter nights.
Eyes glued to the electrical meter.
Dodging the marchers, people sleeping in arches.
Food banks and a 1 bar heater.

I’ve met an old man with his own caravan.
No angry dogs or violent neighbours.
Please cancel the milk and forward my mail.
Tell the kids that i’ll facetime them laters.

Dos Cerveza por favor, one for me and one for her
Its cheap and the scenery is stunning.

Going to stay here maybe.The bingos twice daily.
Dinners 5 euro and comes with a pudding.

There’s charity stores, con leche of course.
In the bars i’m treat like a queen.
Where we drink and we’ll kiss until totally pissed.
Then drive home on his scooter machine.

I’m settling in well, the companies just swell.
There’s a large band of old British cronies.
Each month i’m delighted to be kindly invited.
To a charity night for stray dogs and ponies.