You think that you’re still edgy.

But you’re chamfered, not jagged.

Mens grooming is a costly lie.

Moisturised and haggard.

A squirt of Amazonian Linx

Won’t enhance a simple man.

You’ll smell fragrant, just like Jane.

Not a musky moist Tarzan.

Your wife buys your training shoes

White socks in packs of five.

Cargo shorts for holidays.

You’re a soup spoon not a knife.

She will make you go.

She will make you dance.

Show you off to friends.

Pink pastel leisure pants.

Tight brown Italian, leather belt.

Jumper around your shoulder.

The gel she brushes in your hair

Makes you look much older.

Swearing makes you feel alive.

But not when she’s around.

At work a dangerous noisy type

At home it’s safe and sound.

Friday night let down your hair.

Another round? what do you chose.

Smash it with your drunken mates.

Or home to watch the news.