Wedding Belles

The church bells rang, the choir sang, then came the horse and carriage.

In came her dad, small and dressed in plaid, couldn’t trap a pig in a passage.

Doors open wide, here comes the bride, nana says she was a beauty.

The nervous groom, amused the room and then turned to perform his duty.

The flower girls, chewing gum and curls, all jostled for position.

The best man tried, to catch the eye of the bride, with whom he’d had a secret liaison.

The brides step mum, still tasting the rum, that she’d drank the night before.

Was not impressed and said, the brides mams short dress, made her look just like a whore.

They said i do, which is what you do, and the cameras flashed like blazers.

The old priest then left, to watch his TV bet on the 1.30 at Redcar races.

The wedding grub, was at the working mans club, and the bars free until 3.30.

Where the ladies wait, to fill the plate, of the men all sweating and thirsty.

The after dinner speeches, from some very strange creatures, all gave sound advice.

Then the best man rose, and gave a toast, but his speech unsettled your wife.

Mate, do you remember this, when we were pissed, and a naked girl called Stella?

She stole your watch when she felt your crotch and turned out to be a fella.

Threats of a quick divorce never reached the courts but she still calls you a traitor.

On a girls holiday, to Whitley Bay, you heard she’d had a fling with a waiter.

Ten years on, two girls and a son, you think the slates wiped clean.

But when she’s has a drink and doesn’t care to think she can be so mean.

@TnGTheBand to listen to the songs #poetry #poems #lyrics